Video of the Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pC3VJA_CB8&feature=related


ณ ไรสส ทรหห ธ้ฟรสฟืกใ  ณะ ฟห แฟเก ทั สรอำ รืเ พำ ฟืก ณ ไรสส ฟสไฟห  เสฟ เสฟกก ฟะ ณ ฟท น ฟ พ หะพนืเพ ทฟืใ  ณ พั น ฟสไฟห กน ไฟ รห หะใ

ณ ไรสส ทรหห รห ยสฟแ  ณ นยำ ธฟหารื แนทำห ฟแ หนนื ฟืก พำหะนพำห ยำฟแ

ศนอำ นีพหำสด ฟสไฟหใ

Historically Important Action

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/8618915.stm

Song of the Day

This is a 2 for video rock, block :-)
This one is how I feel.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNZH-emehxA&feature=fvst


This is the way I think she feels.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDazrN4WcqQ

Video of the Day

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/c/7A490A44E6532688/30/CSJXle3LP_Q

No more fighting

I am sure we can find a solution.

Words of wisdom

Look up.

Look up.


I try everyday to be the best I can be.  I am flawed.  I am humbled by the pain I feel today and everyday since she kicked me out.  I miss my kids.

They love me and I love them, but now my ex has too much hate for me and she is trying to hurt me by hiding my kids from their father. 

Be careful.  Know that if you marry a foreign national this can happen to you as well.  Once she took them out of the USA then the rules changed. 

I hope not, but I am starting to think she knew this would be the case.  One of the last things she told me in person was, "My mum told me that when I leave you I will get the kids, and if you don't watch out I can make it so you can never see them again." 

I did not want to make things hard on her, I did afterall love her for over 10 years.  She is a good mum, but if I don't get to talk with my kids soon I will have to take legal action.  I have done the research and there are resources at my disposal.  She has a green card, but that can be taken away.  She can not think that it is a good thing to shut me out of my childrens lives.

My father once told me that he (having worked as a detective on custody cases) would never be surprised what a person going through the pain and anger of divorce would do.  Well, I never believed that my ex would do what her mum did to her dad so many years ago.

She said it was cruel that her mum tried to run away with her and her brother and she is right.  What her mum did and now what she is doing is cruel to me and our children who love and miss their father.

I pray that she comes to the decision on her own to stop this hate campaign, but I am willing to fight if I have to do so.  I have retained an attorney and she is confident that I will see my kids again soon.  I will start the fight in ernest in 10 days, if she has not come to her senses and stopped making this a war for our children's sake.

If you know her or me, reach out to her.  Let her know that everything is on the table.  I am willing to listen to any request, but only if I can talk with my kids.

They love me and I love them.

No matter what she thinks of me that fact will never change.

Never.

Remember this song?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fl6BiileOrg


I like it do you?

Email me your requests at hchrysanthou@hotmail.co.uk

Look for your lost children

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giPPeJEBUqE&feature=related

Parents, don't give up on your children.  The video above is dedicated to all those lost children.

I wish my parents had not allowed me to be hurt for so long, I wish I could have run away.

I wish that people would accept me for me.

Love yourself and others will love you or they were probably best not in your life.

Don't throw away your love on those that don't want it.

Song of the Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAlQ1cR6X9Q

A little request and dedication to my ex.  Enjoy :-)

Video of the Day

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/f/1/emj1H65g00Q

1st feature article (Travel Magazine)

Starting to become more successful as a writer.  Maybe this will work out........

See attached 2 page layout for travel article to appear in 3 magazines.


Cheers,


J

http://www.ctepping.co.uk/

Video of the Day.

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/c/7A490A44E6532688/16/i2Y42SP-NHU

You say it best......

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/f/121/QjsjZWlRVvo

Video of the Day

Well, back home now or to a country much closer to home.

I remember this video being funny and well it was not, but still a good tune.

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/f/13/DBfTk6Unddk

This song speaks of my pain and recovery

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/c/BECB44284D86582A/19/OPsqSYnpo2I


Can you listen?

Video of the Day (It is always a new day somewhere :-)

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/c/BECB44284D86582A/2/pUqX07JX_3c

Video of the Day

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/c/7A490A44E6532688/11/dPN5lEIWyVw

A repeat, but it is how I feel right now.  I miss my kids and do not at all like them being hidden from me, but alas time is on my side.  One day they will understand.  They love me and I love them and no matter what is said that is untrue you can't take that away from them or me.


J

Happy Easter Video of the Day

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/c/7A490A44E6532688/8/X-3gXet-ljs


Mia, Ollie, and Alyssa.  Daddy misses you.  I hope you have a great time and get some nice chocolates :-)

Love,

Daddy

Video of the Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZES3nJQYJok

Into the ocean end it all.  Goodbye Goodbye

I want to swim away, but don't know how.  Sometimes it feel like I've fallen into the ocean.  Let the waves come up and take me down.  Let the rain of what I feel right now come down, let the rain come down.  Into the ocean end it all, into the ocean end it all.

I thought of just your face.

If you want to travel soon, you might need to check this out.

http://pafamilylaw.foxrothschild.com/tags/traveling-out-of-the-country-w/

In case you need to go to a sunny island you need to make sure you don't violate laws.  Hope this is helpful.


As a seperated spouse I am having to learn all about having kids and having a combative ex.  I hope no one else has to go through this pain.

It sucks.


J

Video of the moment

Don't know why, but I find him fasinating and his music relaxing.  I hope it brings you peace as well.

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/c/7A490A44E6532688/10/qi5nTb-NRFU

Video 2 watch if ya like videos and stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/c/7A490A44E6532688/30/CSJXle3LP_Q

It's the little things that count

I miss.....

1)  Mia's laugh
2)  Ollie's hugs
3)  The sound of my new angel Alyssa learning the sounds of her voice.


I miss them so much it hurts.

Hello Readers

Ever had the thing you loved the most taken away?

Well my soon to be ex has now hidden my kids from me.  Pretty scary tactic.  Outside humane treatment.  Well, at least it shows me her capacity for hate.  I had better hire a good lawyer.  Silly me thought we would be honest and fair with each other.

I guess she wants to fight it out properly no matter how many people she hurts.

I am not talking about me.  I know this will pass.  She can not keep the kids away from their father forever.  One day they will understand what has been done and she will have to answer their questions about 'why?'

I will not fight her.  I will not give up my rights as a father though.  So if you are an attorney specializing in custody issues please email me at hchrysanthou@hotmail.co.uk  I will need to find a good one to fight for me, because she has given us no choice.  We could have been fair and friendly, but I guess I am not worth treating fairly in her eyes.

I hope her hate keeps her warm at night.  I hope when she holds and kisses our wonderful children she realizes how lucky she is to have them with her. 

One time she told me she would 'never' keep the kids from me no matter what happend.  I guess that wasn't true. 

I would warn all men out their that it is a mistake to trust that you will be able to see your kids.  My ex has gone with lying as a tactic to keep them from me.  She and her brother have claimed that I 'threatened' them.  She has further claimed that I am dangerous.  I have no history of violence.  I am a pacifist.  I am new buddist that has learned how to let go of my pain as a child.

My reward?  She has no told me that she is going to in her words, "have my ass arrested upon entry into the USA or UK."  Well, I will fight any and all false claims and charges against my character.

I will not side by and watch my kids hidden away from me.

If you know her or the situation I am sure you have your own opinions about me.

That is fine.  I am past caring what others think about me as a person, but I challenge anyone to prove that I am not a loving father. 

I don't deserve this much hate, but I have to deal with it and I will.

So, last chance dear ol' birdie.  Do you really want this to be a fight?  Do you really think that is best for you, me, and our lovely children?

If so, please let me know so I can start fighting back.  You can only kick me so many times.  Especially when I am already on the floor begging you to be fair.

I await your decision. 

J

Video of the Day

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/c/7A490A44E6532688/8/X-3gXet-ljs

No further action.

I will not do anything or agree to do anything until the following happens.

1)  I speak with my kids.
2)  You withdraw your threats.
3)  You commit to never withdraw my children's contact with me again.  That is so wrong on so many levels.

Do you understand?

J

Why keep them from their father. One day they will ask........why?

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/c/7A490A44E6532688/0/4umc87T5UMs

Hum along with me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yChKhYqWnfk&feature=PlayList&p=BECB44284D86582A&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=140&shuffle=1992

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vVOO4zDk7w&feature=PlayList&p=BECB44284D86582A&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=13&shuffle=1992

I know it may be funny to you, but.....

I find music soothing in rough seas.  I never imagined that you would hate me so much.

I will never hate you.

I was with you for so many years.  We have beautiful children together.  Children you won't let me see.

You want me locked away for no reason and have nothing but negative things to say about me.

Was it all some good joke to you?  Fall in love, have kids, and then kick me out?  I know your family has money and no you have the support of my closest relatives as well. 

You are right about one thing.  I am an asshole.  I am hard to get along with, but I also loved you like no one ever will.  I love me kids and I will always want to be a part of their lives.

I will not give up hope that you will treat me as an equal and stop yelling at me and telling what you are going to do to me.  Some might even call that extortion. 

I am going home soon, I will not and have never harmed you or the kids, so please quit the pretense that you are in danger it is beneath you to be so petty.

I know you hate me, hold onto that hate if you must.

I don't hate you.  You are a great mother and you were a loving spouse until I would not roll over and do whatever I was told.  You forgot after the affair that I was person and not just a object to be ordered around.  Remember this about us, you forgave me and took me back, then I had to do everything I was told all the time.  I accepted this as I had done wrong, but enough was enough.

I did what you wanted.  I dealt with my childhood trauma.  I am not better and what thanks do I get?  My wife tells me to leave on Christmas Day.  She then tells my children that Daddy's 'head is broke'?  How mean can you be and expect me to keep taking it without disputing the facts.

I will not concede anything else to you until you start to be fair to me and our children.

They miss me and I miss them.  I accept that I can not control you at all.  Stop trying to control me through threats and lies.  I did not threaten you or your brother.

I have consulting a lawyer and she has assured me your claims are baseless and any action taken would hurt your custody case in the long run. 

I do not want to be mean.  I want to be friends one day.  Can you not see how that is best for our children?

All the best,

Love,

J

We are......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoUOrLe4vlY&feature=PlayList&p=7A490A44E6532688&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=170&shuffle=940

I wish I could hate you like you hate me.

You have chrushed me with the weight of your hate for me.

Want to build a prison for me to live in?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzX8lLV94S4&playnext_from=TL&videos=S3ktxlVntko&playnext=1

Do you care about the following?

1)  Our kids?
2)  Your dignity?
3)  Self Respect?

Imagine if you were me and you could not see your own children that you walked to school everyday, read to at night, loved and played with?  Huh?

Stop pretending I don't care about them.  One day they will know the truth.  One day they will be old enough to understand and they will ask why?

I hope you can sleep well with yourself.

Don't threaten me.  Be grownup and treat me well and I will treat you well.

Our kids lay in the balance.

Please don't make them be forever away from a father that loves them and one that they clearly love and miss.

You are not that cruel are you?  I hope not, but the latest threats of arrest would be laughable if they were not so degrading to your character.  I have not ever and would never hurt anyone.  For you to try to have me arrested is criminal.

Be reasonable.

Please take a deep breathe and think about what is best for our family.

Even if mummy and daddy divorce the kids need us both in their lives.  I hope you can find a way to get past your hate and soon.

Love,

J

Fun and funny song. Smile today, I will try to do the same.

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/c/7A490A44E6532688/34/DBfTk6Unddk

Video of the Day

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/c/7A490A44E6532688/25/LOESyEljmFE

Jason Mattera is a no talent hack

http://www.amazon.com/Obama-Zombies-Liberal-Brainwashed-Generation/dp/1439172072/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1269622384&sr=8-1

Please twitter this guy, it is so funny that he gets mad about you not liking him or his book.

His talent is walking up to politicians and asking strange questions and being proud when they get upset.  He has written a book that is in the link above that is no half price. 

It is a shame that money can be made by lying and deceiving on purpose.

I hope to drive him to distraction.  I would love to be on a debate with him so he can see what it is like to have someone smart talk with him.  He is afraid of intelligence and his book is so poor that the only fans are the right wing extremist.  He is going to be wealthy for lying and pandering to the right.  Very sad.

you can find him on twitter at @jasonmattera

Funny political talk- O'Reilly is a liar and a fake journalist.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjjsA58N8YQ&feature=fvhr

A little music to bit the day.

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/f/174/MUpmowZlEAE

Bad News Today

Well if anyone actually cares I found out today that my ex intends to have me arrested upon going home.  Well, if that happens the blog will obviously have to take a break. 

Let's examine the facts.

1)  She loves me.
2)  then she hates me and wants me arrested on false charges.......

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/f/1/emj1H65g00Q

The above is how I feel about her even though she wants me wearing orange and eating lunch with hardened criminals, but alas don't worry too much.  I am pretty sure you have to actually break the law to go to jail.  So god willing I will be free as I am not and will not ever break the law.

I miss my children.  I missed my ex and I was foolish enough to believe her when she called 2 days ago and asked me to reenter her life and that she did not know why, but she loved me and missed me daily.

I have to know ask, "Was this just a attempt to fool me?"  I sure as hell hope it wasn't.  It would go beyond anything devious that she has ever done to me.

I love you Birdie.  I always will.  I know you hate me, but............Don't do such harsh things.  It will only hurt our children in the long run.

You can have what you want in life if you are kind, this cruelty and the threats about the law are beneath you.  They show an evilness and hatefullness that I truly believe is not the real you.

I will miss our love, but I will......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udGTdbPJqXc

For my dear departed birdie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjvapPF8wlg&playnext_from=TL&videos=Mt27zd6zL2U&playnext=1

News worth reading.....

http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/03/28/militia.arrests/index.html?hpt=T1

Be vigilent for all of us to be safe we have to watch each other's backs.  Well done on the police for stopping this group.....

Oh, listen to this one as well......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-emc-c_-_Y

Video of the Day

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/c/7A490A44E6532688/11/dPN5lEIWyVw

It is about moving.

Listen up.

Move.

Stop being so small.

Move.

Good Article about a good man and great school

http://blogs.ajc.com/jeff-schultz-blog/2010/03/04/kennesaw-state-our-shining-light-for-tournament/?cxntlid=daylf_artr

Dad, mom would you listen to this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeCMg0cMUIo&feature=PlayList&p=BECB44284D86582A&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=108&shuffle=991

The Streets music time (Video of the Day)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHOf3s70w-c&feature=PlayList&p=BECB44284D86582A&index=0

Why is saying goodbye so hard?  I know a few things by now.  I never know what she is going to do or say next.  It is like a rollercoaster with no saftey bar.

Example.  Recently I had to ponder this condundrum.  I will do 'x' and the she does 'y'  and that results in 'z'?

Confused, well it is simple formula I learned in algerbra.

x2+y2=z2

Basic math makes for solutions and problems.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veAIHDGghP4&feature=PlayList&p=BECB44284D86582A&index=1&playnext=2&playnext_from=PL

I sometimes wonder why I write anything on this thing, but it makes me feel a bit of relief.

A public diary is stupid and smart at the same time.

Well, it is time to get dressed and get over to see Chiang Mai FC win another game.

Miss my kids, love them to bits.

I love her, but I don't for the life of me think I will understand anything she ever does.

I just wish people in general would do what they say they will do, alas no one can be trusted.

We are a mean species and I am learning that more every day, but you know what.  I know that I will make it and be a good dad, friend, etc.  Not everyone hates me all the time, but those that do, when they do seem to go out of their way to shit on my foot. (I want that to be a cool new saying for the next generation.

When someone says one thing and does something else start saying, "Why did you shit on my foot".

Is it too much to ask that you shoot straight with me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUqX07JX_3c&feature=PlayList&p=BECB44284D86582A&index=2&playnext=3&playnext_from=PL

Stay groovy and stuff.

And don't mind the above.  Just enjoy the music and don't try to make sense of what was written, alas I don't even understand it or you and I wrote it and knew you.......At least I thought I did.

Anyone know were I put the remote control?

This life needs one.

Where do I press rewind.

How do you close pandora's box?

Should you?

Is there a pause button. 

I would like to pause the last time my kids ran to the front door yelling, "Daddy's here"  Christmas Day 2009.  The pure joy and look of excitement because I had returned and they were about to open a massive load of presents is one that I will carry with me to the grave and god willing beyond into heaven.

How about a fast forward button?

Can I press and hold until I can kiss their cheeks and hold my youngest and say, "Hello, little angel."


How about a power button?

Should I turn it off?

Sometimes it is hard to keep pressing play.  To simply keep putting one foot in my mouth and the other up my ass.  Fucking hell life can suck big time sometimes.  My making my past demons die I might have killed my self?  I sure as fuck hope not.

This is a song that occurs to me when I look at myself in the mirror.

I hate everything about myself.  Why do I love me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzTM8gHID3I&feature=related

I must admit something to everyone that gives a flying fuck (which by now is uhmmmm just me I think)

I love my kids.

I loved my family (sisters, brothers, aunts, dad, mom, nieces, cousins, and friend(s)), but no one decided I was worth keeping.  I have been thrown away.  Granted I was a grade A first class fucking asshole, but I was your son, brother, uncle, cousin, friend and you fucked off and left me to rot. 

I don't know if I ever will okay with two things, what I have done and what you fucking did to me.

My demons are dead if you care.

My soul is intact and my capacity to love and be loved exists deep within.

I pray one day I get a chance to show you.

If not........

100 and now 101 posts

It is clear that I have too much free time.

I am glad that I have worked through my past and want everyone to know that use to love me and wants to know me that I feel this way......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4umc87T5UMs&feature=PlayList&p=7A490A44E6532688&index=0&playnext=1

Tis the season

Back home you can smell it.  The bullshit is piling up as the election machine starts to churn.  Who will spin the best shit and win?

I can't wait to dive in an see.......


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6cq56mKcZQ&feature=PlayList&p=BECB44284D86582A&index=30

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_BZY-J9cV4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4smim2MNvF8

Now lets go out their and beat some fucking incumbents.  Change starts in your own mind and soul.

Imperfections suits me

When you look up the word imperfection in the dictionary please take note that my photo is the definition.

Let's examine what is wrong with me.

1)  I want everyone to love me.
2)  I am impulsive and impressionable.
3)  I wear my heart on my sleeve.
4)  I want to be right even if I am wrong.
5)  Once I commit to an action I see it through.


When in love I will do almost anything I am asked.  I want to please, I need to be loved and hate being alone, but at the same time find myself awkward and cumbersome in most people's company.

Here is a tune to hum as you read another entry.  Below.  If you are intrigued and would like to know more or have questions to ask that I will answer in blog form please feel free to email me at hchrysanthou@hotmail.co.uk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-A-4NQfFRs&NR=1


All for now........Discuss......or not.

Hummmm along with me......if you please........

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/c/7A490A44E6532688/38/miZm0G6ssiY


http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/c/7A490A44E6532688/39/8U78LxidZg8

A perfect body

no

body

no

one.

I want you to notice when I'm not around.  Your so very special.  I wish I was special.  I'm a creep, what the hell am I doing here.  I don't belong here.  She's running.  She's running out on me. 

I pray for this.


Peace.

Love.

Whatever makes you happy, whatever you want.  Your so fucking special, I wish I were special, but I'm a creep.

I don't belong here.

I don't belong here.

Thank you RadioHead for such an inspiring song.

Video of the Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CREPw8Fl0qg&feature=PlayList&p=7A490A44E6532688&index=20

Random Test

a bug is the biggest lie we know!

Good tune for 2day......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wERdV8wRB6Q&feature=PlayList&p=7A490A44E6532688&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=150&shuffle=20694

Video of the Day

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/c/7A490A44E6532688/16/i2Y42SP-NHU

Hey mom and Dad, Look at this.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEVPoo0kOa4&feature=PlayList&p=7A490A44E6532688&index=7&playnext=2&playnext_from=PL

Smile

Sometimes it is hard.

Sometimes I feel lost and alone.

Music keeps me going.

Video of the Day.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSJXle3LP_Q&feature=PlayList&p=7A490A44E6532688&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=58&shuffle=408

Corporation Runs for Congress

Show mistake of Supreme Court

Hellllarious!!!

http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/02/corporation-says-it-will-run-for-congress/

http://helpsaveholly.com/

http://helpsaveholly.com/

Please visit and help.

Video of the Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X75mry1LcFg&feature=channel

listen up birdie.

Worth a look

http://www.whitehouse.gov/photos-and-video/video/it-time-pass-health-care-reform


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0I&feature=PlayList&p=C4B9C7326E087E89

Video of the day

http://www.youtube.com/user/onelazygooner24?feature=mhw5#p/f/20/J1K1tuOWY5s

music and stuff

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0lSpNtjPM8&feature=PlayList&p=7A490A44E6532688&index=6&playnext=3&playnext_from=PL

Musings

Well, another day.

I think that life is funny joke and you learn the meaning when you are finished.  At least that is my hope.  You know how some people life a quote unquote 'normal life'?  Well, I would not even know at this point how to get close to a normal life.  I just hope to try and be a good person and a good father.  I know that it is easy to look at my life and judge, but don't be so hasty.

I know this about people.  They like finding fault in others.  Be honest, remember the last time you and a girl friend or a boy friend were sitting in a restaurant and person came in that, was (insert issue here)?  What did you say in whispered undertones?  Was it positive?  Did the two of you have a chuckle at the strangers expense?  Ever had that moment when their eyes caught you two lauging and you could see either anger, confusion, or disappointment in their eyes? 

Did you feel shame?  You should.

Why as a species do we use so much of our time and brain power diminishing our fellow man?  What do you like to read?  Books.......I hope so, but did you know that the majority of people consider the internet as reading?  People magaizne?  The Sun?  Get real.  That shit will just slowly rot your mind and your soul.  Start to be involved in building others up and not ripping them down.

I know one thing for sure.  I can only control my own actions, morals, and mind. 

I have given up on trusting others to treat me with respect, and mutual love.   That  I feel you find with only a few and even those you choose to trust and love can turn an bite you in the end. 

So, with my guard up I march on. 

I will do the following before the end of the year.

1)  I will continue to be a columnist.
2)  I will strive to put others before myself whenever possible.
3)  I will be strong and stay alive in an angry and hostile world.
4)  I will change the things in my life I can and need to change and I will accept that I can not make anyone love or respect me.
5)  I will find more friends like I have in the past that I can trust and they in turn can trust me.
6)  I will find a way to ensure my children are always happy and safe.

All the best to you all.

Video of the Day sorry mom. :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPN5lEIWyVw&feature=PlayList&p=7A490A44E6532688&index=11&playnext=12&playnext_from=PL

hMMMMMMMMMMM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qi5nTb-NRFU&feature=PlayList&p=7A490A44E6532688&index=10

This song changed my life. Well, maybe not, but good tune anyway,,,,,......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVNAp1C8LIw

Enjoy your petty hate. Video of the Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wm3z1wBfdRs

Song of the day and one for you b.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4wZ_CLlGyI&NR=1


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUTXb-ga1fo&feature=PlayList&p=4DF797A38F7771E2&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=66

Keeps me alive inside.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dt5OUdG6y0I&feature=PlayList&p=5090CFE260155208&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=1

Video of the Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kMZ23T9VHE&NR=1

Today's Video of the Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBfTk6Unddk

Video of the Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB67guV1dGg&feature=related

2-1 First Thai Football game.

http://www.chiangmaifc.net/

Peace

2 all.

100 Views Profile (and Video of the day)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArwzSOLFEgs

World Cup Predictions 2010

Winner:  England
Runner-up:  Brazil
Third Place:  Spain
Fourth Place:  USA

Best British Rapper by a long shout.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veAIHDGghP4&feature=PlayList&p=BECB44284D86582A&index=1

Video of the Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IH8tNQAzSs&playnext_from=TL&videos=RZq2wd160f0&playnext=1

Wish I could feel this way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNcloTmvTeA

Video of the Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCqYWzwJm7U

protest is healthy.

Now a published columnist. Feel good!!!!

http://www.communitytimes.co.uk/Epping/magazine/feb2010/

http://www.communitytimes.co.uk/Epping/magazine/mar2010/

Column is called Being and Doing.

I feel like I have taken a big step.....

or not.

Time will tell.

Makes me feel upbeat.

Best young rapper in the game.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDuRoPIOBjE&feature=fvst

Song of the day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEo8poVlQrM

Cash money.

Song of the day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5Ts4M3irWM


Enjoy

An open letter to Paul Dunn, Abe Traugh, and Mac Williams

Hello.

I know you probably think that it is best to let sleeping dogs lye, but alas I have never done that and I don't know if I ever can or will.

I just wanted to send this letter to some old friends with a hearty hello and a wish for your health and welfare.

Years ago we all went to a concert in Clemson to see this band.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNO6pAJBCs4&NR=1

Those days and times in college were some of the best of my life.  I will remember the friendships we had fondly even if we never speak again.

A lot of water has passed under the bridge since then.

There have been marriages, children born, and friendships lost.

I am not a perfect person and I never will be, but I wanted you three to know for what it is worth that those times were good.

I have laughed with you, played basketball, and even listened to music at concerts in rural Carolina.

I hope you are well and wish you godspeed in your future endeveours.

Kind Regards,


J Calhoun

Videos of the Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IH8tNQAzSs&feature=fvst

just funny and fun.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaK5S3dPBLY

dirty south.  Reminds me of happy days.   Go Owls!  Kennesaw State Rules.   Okay maybe not, but I like the teams.

Divsion II National Champions 2004

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRxfIFULviw


Oh and birdie, be angry......hate me.........you have and you try to judge..........I wish you peace.  Your hate for me will not deminish my love of the kids.

You are not the only one that is allowed to get angry ya know!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbN9zCqTyPM

Love you Ollie, Mia, Alyssa and miss you so much.

Korn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7b3AxwSh9cA&NR=1

So today's question.

Do you believe in evolution or creatisim?

Leave comment, please?


:-)

Slipknot USA

Are you ready

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFhwRfp_bnc&feature=rec-fav-watch-cur_emp-real_rev-rn

Today's Video of the day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iF3xJAUY7vI

why is money the most important thing...........to most?

Video of the month

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDxgSvJINlU&feature=fvst

It will help you and me.

The pain of rape pales in the pain of non belief

Dad,

Why didn't you help me?  Why didn't you believe me?

Mom,

Why did you tell me just to 'get over it'.

Where was the love?

Where were my parents when I needed themmm the most....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0a0mT1udjZU

Go Owls

a-sun

http://atlanticsun-insider.blogspot.com/

This song helps me rise above and keep my head from hitting the ground

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNGLU_VsePg


May your heart find the happiness that it needs to stop hating me.

Go fucking Owls Go :-)

Mark Toma is a great writer and was a great friend.......once upon a time.

http://www.ksuowls.com/news/2010/3/3/MBB_0303103341.aspx


Coach Ingle is awesome~!!!!!!

Singing while were winnning?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1tAYmMjLdY&feature=channel

A good song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO70EfNAG-U

Feeling Blue?

http://www.myspace.com/blueoctober


Greatest band live touring Europe now and USA later this year.

See them and you will know I speaka the trutha.


:-)

Video of the day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvihRTLeBLo

Today's video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X75mry1LcFg&feature=channel

and this one.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDxgSvJINlU&feature=fvst





Anyone that wants to hate me feel free.

I have the love of my kids.

I have my love of myself and my want to be a :


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JLztfosqik

Trying to be nice

Can suck.

Everything you do is judgeded anyway.

So why try........Well I am trying to be better, but when others are angry and rude to me I have to say okay.

But when I am angry I and judged.

Oh well.......

I am just trying to live my life like everyone else.

I want you to be happy.

If you want to judge me then do so, one thing I know for sure is I can't make you be nice or fair.


Kind Regards,


J

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynMk2EwRi4Q&feature=fvst

It hurts, but I accept I caused it.... blame me....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHOf3s70w-c

35 today

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eP1sgwo171c


:-)

Video of the day......

Can you see?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fn3LLYpFWuw&feature=related

35 years young?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSJXle3LP_Q&feature=related

February 24, 1975.

My mom was in the cold in Auroua, Colorado.  The doctor ripped me out early (wan't due until April 1st).

I was undercooked.

Still am  :-)

J

Today's video of the day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYcu7sNHtuw&feature=channel

fuck Karen Mahurin-Bosch

She cheated.......

I did not.......

I will run again in 2012

A couple of tunes worth humming

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nW3-DajGiY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIz-MmKeoCs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xat1GVnl8-k


Truth of the day.......




Survining Rape is harder for a man than a woman.......why would I say such a harsh and I am sure hated thing.......Well no one believes you when you are a man that is raped.  Everyone thinks you are damaged afterwards.......

Why well I will tell you what I think.

I think it is because men are suppossed to be strong.   And rape is looked at as a man being weak.

Well I was only 10 the first time I was raped.

My dad and step-mom let me step-brother get away with it time and time again because they did not believe me.  The doctors did not believe me.

Now as an adult I have to deal with the pain alone because the shame they feel is tooooo great to accept me.

I love life.  I am so glad to be alive.

I have 3 great things in my life.

There names are:

Mia

Oliver

and Alyssa


I will try everyday to make them proud......Even though I must now do it alone.

I miss being conisdered normal.  I am not normal, but no one is.


It was not my fault that my stepbrother raped me.

It was your fault Dad for choosing work and career over family.

It was your fault for not listening to my cries for help.

Mom is was your fault for hating me because I looked like my Dad that you broke up with. 

Mom you cheated on my Dad with his best friend.  Danny you are dick for doing that to your mate.  What a fucking dick you are. 



I wish people in my life (well they used to be in my life) would judge themselves half as much as they judge me.

Try for a moment to imagine.........

You are ten........


It is dark.   The gag in your mouth is a dirty sock semen stained from constant use for clean up after masturbation.

You are tied to your own bed face down with a pillow case over your head.

Your nose is bleeding from a stategic punch.

You feel your pajamas being pulled down.

You feel that pain of entry.


You cry and want to die.


Now imagine telling your dad and the therapist you need help and your step brother is evil.

Imagine living in a place called LaVernia, Texas that is so remote you try to run away, but find nothing to run to.

Imagine begging your dad to go to your mom and being told no.

Imagine this scene happening so many times you can still feel the sting of pain and shame.

Imagine.........

Attention Lazy Students :-)

Don't want to write that history, english, or psychology paper?

Well don't.

Email me......... at hchrysanthou@hotmail.co.uk

and for a small donation I will write it for you.

Studying is not important.

Have fun.

Let me do the work for you.

Fuck Walmart :-)

http://money.cnn.com/2010/02/17/news/companies/walmart_results/index.htm?source=cnn_bin&hpt=Sbin


Read for a laugh :-)


Cheers!!!!


Peace and Love

You can survive rape and be a good person afterwards.


I am.

pUSH puSH pUSH

i WILL PUSH BACK.

:-)

Watch out :-)



I am ......


Love,



J

Hate me I don't

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miZm0G6ssiY#

Peace and love

Put the blame on me.

You always doooooooo.

:-)

Janice who lives on Westminster Drive Canton, GA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03PnU27cWDs&feature=related

oh and and.......


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbN9zCqTyPM


If you hate me then fuck you.

Janice leave my mail alone.

Oh,

one last thing.  Steal anymore mail Janice and I will tell your secret.


I know things.


I will tell..............

This special song goes out to Janice and Helen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62j8n2_T1-c

FUCK YOU.


i can do and say whatever the fuck i want.



peace, love, and fuck you.


The usa is my  country.


I free.

Leave me the fuck alone!

Peaceful

I am now peaceful.

I will be okay.


Love,


me

Peace, Love, and Happiness

All love and respect

to

Helen my dear x

and my lovely children

Mia, Ollie, and Alyssa.

This song is for Birdie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHOf3s70w-c

and this one is for us.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMiy_UsrPDs&feature=related

but instead this is the future


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0I&feature=fvst

I want you to be happy so if you must...........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbN9zCqTyPM

Mia, Ollie, and Alyssa

Daddy Love you.

Always.......

Go Owls Hootie Hoo!!!

http://scores.espn.go.com/ncb/recap?gameId=300230526&confId=46

http://ping.fm/vMdCu

Dissillusionment - Love, Life, and the Future

Be happy.


www.blip.fm/husk24